Goku's Love for Chichi
by Cher the writer
Summary: Goku thinks about his love for Chichi as his time pasts away with the dragon he fused to...His questions and feeings about his love for Chichi is answered....Goku is not pleased!!!


  
** Goku's Love for Chichi.......**  
  
Goku was among the stars. Fused with the mighty dragon Goku was now like a God. Goku discovered even if was to unfuse with this mystical beast, that he would be forever be endowed with the endless powers and ablities beyond his dreams. Through the dragon, Goku gained unimaginable knowledge of simple things as well as the complex.   
  
The dragon welcomed Goku. It was because of Goku' presence that this creature was not doomed to an eternal slumber. Goku' presence made it possible for the dragon to exist and live, and for it to be awakened and aware in it's eternal life. No longer was the dragon doomed to to be only awakened when summoned.   
  
Goku knew that Chichi loved him and missed him dearly. He missed her too. Goku's first kiss was Chichi. Goku's first and last woman was Chichi. She was all he knew. Yet Goku loved Chichi for reasons that any good woman could have accomplished. Chichi was an excellent wife and an even better mother. A bit bossy and overbearing at times but he smiled because he knew she cared for him and loved him.   
  
Goku was having trouble understanding his new thoughts and questions as his knowledge grew. Was it possible to Love someone without them taking care of you? Was it possible for him to love someone for no reason at all? Just for the sake of loving who the person is? Goku remembered that at first he felt awkward living with Chichi. It was no secret to anyone that Chichi loved him always. Goku was not even sure what he was suppose to do as a husband. All he knew that he made a promise, and even though it was a life long promise he vowed to live it to his dying days. And died he did. Over and over again. And now it seemed he had all eternity to sit and think about the unthinkable. His love for his beloved wife Chichi.   
  
He often barraged the dragon with many questions although they almost shared one mind. The dragon would take delight in Goku's innocence and never hesistated to enlighten him. Goku would remember when he first saw Gohan in the arms of his wife. When he and Chichi first made love. How soft she felt. How good her silky hair felt between his finger tips. How nice it felt to have this fragile woman in his powerful arms when they slept at night.   
  
Chichi had given him two beautiful boys and always stayed by his side. Goku was scared and ashamed to think and wonder about at his question. Yet he knew if there was someone or something to ask, this was it. The dragon. He was now it's friend. "Dragon, do you think I really loved Chichi?" Like she deserved?" The dragon inhaled and soon Goku's body was split from it's own yet they were still joined, it was temporary displacement that they used to talk to one another. Or do things seperate.   
  
The dragon looked at Goku and smiled. Of course you loved your wife. You still do. I sense though that you want to know about** _lover's love_**. Special love . Let me explain. You never knew what love was before, so you had no problem growing to love her. Yet some elements were missing. Passion. Desire. I can hear your mind wonder about all the things this woman has done and gave to you. You claim all these things are reason to love and cherish her. You are right. Stll they are not reasons why you should have **_started _**to love her. Goku frowned his face. " I don't understand???" The dragon continued. You love her Goku. You are too pure hearted not to be able to. Yet I fear it is not lover's love. It is your love of what she has done for you and with you. What she has given you. Very little is based on what she is or her character.   
  
Goku did not understand, so the mystical beast continued. "Goku, you say you love her. You did not love her from the start. As time went on you grew to love her for her devotion to you. For the life you had together. Imagine if you had loved her that way from the very begining. Goku, imagine that on your wedding day that all the feelings that took you time to build, imagine that you felt all that on your wedding day. Then imagine once again, that on top of your already existing love that you would have had in the begining, that you would continue to love her even more for all the things that you shared and your life together. That is what true lover's love feels like. The love you felt for her would be greatly multiplied if would have had love in the begining of the courtship. All those things you two shared would of made the the love stronger, not cause you to love.   
  
Goku's heart dropped and his soul felt damp to him. Goku exclaimed that he failed her. "How could he" he whispered to himself. He attained super sayijin and levels beyond. Yet he never grasped the true concept of love. Goku asked in denial "are you sure?" The dragon spoke, "Goku when you left even when you had no choice and you left in death, have you ever desired her with a burning passion that haunted you? Did you ever feel as if you could not live and felt sick even though you were fine? That my friend is love. I know you have never felt that. You feel a duty and a sense of belonging with your wife. You feel loyalty and a need to protect. If she is safe and fine that is all you need to feel content in your heart and soul. You are too kind to love. You are not selffish. You left your wife so many times because of what it could benefit the world and those around you. Love does not work that way. Love is selfish. If really inlove you would not wanted to be parted from her, even in death. Her face would haunt you. Yet it did not. You love her like a companion.   
  
Goku rasied his hand to make the beast stop talking. How could this dragon break his heart like this. How could this be true. Yet it all made sense. Goku was silent in the heart of space. Then he spoke. '" It dose not matter what I have for her, or exactly why I feel and what I lack. When she makes it to the afterlife I will be her for her foever. I will never let her down. She has given me far too much years and tears for me to decide that I don't really love her like you say I do. I swear on every galaxy that I will make it up to her. I am taking our wedding vows and making them eternal. The dragon managed a scaly grin. " I know that is exactly what you would do. She deserves only that....."   



End file.
